Hire me, fortune cookie company people!

So if you haven’t figured it out, my blog is all about me.  Not necessarily about me, but it’s me and my unashamedly unsupported opinions on a variety of crap.

So here I am on St. Patricks’s day, 5 days after my birthday (Happy Birthday To Me!), wondering how to waste time until it’s time to go out.  Dinner was good, corned beef & cabbage—oh yeah, getting my Irish on!—and now am waiting another hour for a friend to come pick me up so we can go out and toss a beer or two back.  What to do to fill the time?  I am so Facebooked out right now, I can’t even begin to tell you.  I’m a bit pissy with my boyfriend, but that’s just a girl thing.  Can’t keep eating.  Already had dinner, already had dessert (Breyer’s strawberry ice cream, it’s good stuff I tell ya!), already took puppies outside.

What do I do?  Since I’ve got nothing better to do with my time for the next hour, I’m-a workin’ on mah blog.

Now, what to say, what to say?  Geez, I hate this crap.  Trying to think of useless stuff to put on the internet can be a pain, ya know?  Then it comes to me!  Fortune cookies!

Y’ever read a fortune cookie and say, “I can’t believe they pay somebody to write this crap!  How do I get a job like this?”

So here I am, fortune cookie factory guy-makers:  HIRE ME!  I can write generic bulls— on a small strip of paper just as well as the next guy (or gal, whatever).  Below are some of my fortune cookie ideas:

–He who tries will always get something.  He who never tries always gets nothing.

–Luck and wealth will come to those who wait.

–If you wish to be loved, be loving to others.

Get the idea?  I can write b.s. just as crappily as anyone out there, so HIRE ME.  Sure, I’ll take pay to sit here and make stuff up.  Or sit there.  Where ever.  As long as it comes with a paycheck.

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2 Responses to “Hire me, fortune cookie company people!”

  1. haha lol brilliant I would love a fortune cookie like that 🙂

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