Never get bored and post on CL–look what happens!

So I was bored this morning and decided to surf around in CraigsList to entertain myself for free. I started out with the jobs section (sent a response to a small few of them), then moved onto free stuff, barter, and wanted sections. Of course, I ended up looking at the personals. We all do that, because it’s interesting. So here I am, surfing away. Finally, for whatever reason, I just can’t take it anymore. I make my own posting and stick it under “women seeking men”. Some of the responses were so fun, I just had to blog about it. Below is my post and responses. I’ll add more responses as they come in.

(The really fun part is that I’m NOT looking; I’m unavailable. Also, while I have posted on CL, I’ve posted rarely–what, two or three times in 5 years?)

MY POST:

For you men—of all ages—who post on CraigsList I present for you a little of a woman’s perspective.

1. I’ve spoken with other female friends of mine who have posted before on CL. We women do not get the bots and SPAM mail when we post. Apparently, you men do. It doesn’t seem too fair, I admit. But, please stop asking us to describe the weather or mention a word like “spaghetti” (or something like that) so you know we’re not bots. Obviously, you’re quite capable of recognizing a SPAM or bot email. Why then would you force a person who is NOT going to email you anything of that nature to prove it? Don’t you think you’d recognize a regular hi-I-liked-your-post kind of response over a bot? If I reply to an ad, I guarantee you will know I’m not a bot or SPAM. To be fair, though, I honestly don’t know this from your point of view and can’t say for sure, since I don’t get bots or SPAM, so correct me if I’m mistaken.

2. Please, please stop asking for a “good time” (you know what I mean) under the Men seeking Women section. There are more appropriate sections for that, two to be precise. Yes, we do look there, too.

3. When you say you want a “normal” woman, define normal. What you mean and what I think, based on the skimpy ad you just put up, might be worlds apart. For example, if by normal you mean a 5’4” 115 lb female who likes her man to be the decision maker and will giggle at every little joke that comes out of your mouth, that’s ok. Just say so. But please, please describe to us what you want (or what you don’t want) if you state you are looking for a normal woman.

4. Would it kill some of you to use spell check before you posted? Honestly now. Especially those of you who say you want intelligence in a woman but you yourself can’t spell or fix the numerous typos in your ad to save your life, and furthermore don’t bother to take the time to run a 30 second spell check.

5. I appreciate all you guys that flat out state you’re looking for 420 friendly. It helps me to avoid responding to your ad, no matter how good it sounds to me. No offense, really. But it saves time in the long run for those of us who are not, so please continue to do so.

6. Not everyone has a picture. Not everyone has a recent picture. Not everyone will provide a picture, even if they have one, to a complete stranger. I’ve spoken to guys who get pictures then meet a woman that doesn’t look very much like the picture she provided. (And vice versa, too). I’ve also spoken with men who have stated they’ve met someone they found very physically attractive—without getting a picture first. So, if someone can’t provide a picture, don’t necessarily brush them off. You may have just passed up someone who might have been great for you. Heck, meeting someone for a coffee isn’t wasting your time or hers and it’s cheap too—even if you buy her the coffee, it’s still cheap. So what’s the problem?

7. Not all of us are in shape. Some of us are a little overweight, some are bigger than “more than a few pounds” but not a BBW, some are indeed a BBW, and some are a SSBBW. No biggie. Those of you who don’t want this are stating it specifically in your ads. But keep in mind, I’ve spoken to a LOT of women who’ve answered CL ads where a man has described himself as athletic and upon meeting, she’s told me that he was far from “athletic” in his build. So—be honest about your appearance, too. Personally? I prefer a man with a little weight on him. Muscles are too hard and it feels like I’m trying to be intimate with rocks; skinny flat out hurts. Only my opinion, but to each their own.

If you’ve bothered to read all of this, thanks Gentlemen! If not, I’ll run off in a corner and cry my eyes out, then go get professional therapy and a prescription for antidepressants.

Happy Hunting!

P.S. Yeah, I know I’ll get those guys that will send me hate mail or sign me up for SPAM. Well, guess what, guys? I wasn’t born yesterday. I use a throw-away email address for CL postings. I also know how to delete a rudely worded email without feeling the need to respond. I also never open email with attachments from people I don’t know. (When I post a CL ad, I specifically instruct NOT to send pictures.) So, do you really want to waste the effort?

RESPONSE #1: (Always an ego stroke when people say nice things to me.)

Ah, you have skills…verbal skills and that is nice to see!
I loved your post and i think you should keep going…write more
because I want to read it.
It is rare to find someone on CL that not only has a brain, but can
type and spell AND has a sense of humor.  Kudos to you.

RESPONSE #2: (I didn’t know this about the bot thing)

One correction ,  some post are very hard to distinguish from real and fake.
Some even engage in a conversation for 2 or 3 responses.
Anyway.
I’m still looking and I feel some gals just cut me off if I don’t send a pic right away. I’m a good looking man and I’m not going to send a pic as a response to my post.

We as men still go at it even if we know we are finding that most of the time we spend doing this is a waste.
So can you give me more advice ? Maybe help me build a post. See if my luck improves ?

Any ways , great post

Cheers

RESPONSE #3:  (I wasn’t aware I was in a rage and “looking”.  No surprise this guy’s single.)

sorry but I had to laugh at your post, you either have had a serious problem on CL or you just have a serious chip on your shoulder. I am 44 and one thing life has taught me is to look at yourself before you take your rage out on others. It also sounded like you have managed to put us all in the same category which I really didn’t appreciate. I have been single all my life with no kids or failed marriages. I bet you can’t say the same so maybe you should look before you judge!

RESPONSE #4:  (I love the last line in this one.  Obviously, this guy just wanted to rant, too, since it’s pretty apparent that I’m intelligent enough to figure out the points that this guy is trying to get me to see.)

What was the point of that? The intelligent men already write intelligent ads/replies. The unintelligent ones certainly aren’t going to start doing so simply because somebody posted a “for you men” ad — which happens on a regular basis, if you weren’t already aware.
1. It’s not about the reply you may or may not give. It’s about the content of the original ad. Some ads are obviously spam. Some are obviously not spam. Some could go either way. We don’t want to waste our time writing a lengthy, descriptive response to a bot. Which could, of course, be remedied by using a cut’n’paste response — but, of course, we’ll get a “for you men” ad at some point that tells us you women hate those. Well, we hate wasting time writing to potential bots. That’s the real reason we do it.
2. Some people are stupid. Deal with it.
3. Might want to mention this to all the women, too.
4. See #2.
5. They will continue to say so whether you ask them to or not.
6. Actually, photos tell a lot. It’s not simply a matter of physical looks or attraction. A photo can help tell us if you’re serious, who you say you are, and a woman. Yes, all three of these things can be problems. Also, see #3.
7. Guess what? People lie. Surprising, I know. Everyone magically loses weight when online. I’ve been sent plenty of photos of “skinny”, “slim”, “average”, “a few extra pounds”, and “curvy”… and the discrepancies are amazing. The “skinny” and “slim” ones often end up being average. The average ones often have at least a few extra pounds. The curvy ones… well, yeah. Enough said. The only ones who can be trusted are the ones who describe themselves as BBW/fat/overweight. Please tell your fellow women to be honest in their self-assessment. We men wouldn’t be so annoyed (and, consequently, annoying) were that the case.
And this is not a thinly veiled attempt to hit on you. I’m just horribly bored at work right now.

RESPONSE #5:  (This would be the thinly veiled attempt to hit on me, since he provided his age.)

To a woman,

Thank you for your comments and suggestions.  You’re spot on regarding the ‘bots’ and the rest should be common sense.  I try pretty hard to be accurate and specific about important things when I post and never ask for too much info or ‘ guaranteed good time’ up front.  When I run accross posts like yours, I try to take a moment to read and think them over.  Perhaps I’ll learn something I can apply.  But a lot of the things you complain about cut both ways and I use them as a kind of sorting tool on w4m and I like to think the poorly written posts in m4w make me look all the better.  I like to think my posts are better then most and are being received well, just not by the right match yet.   An interesting study of people for sure.  It’s brutal out there but we keep trying.

From a man – 45

RESPONSE #6:  (Another kudo to me.  Ego stroking.  Mmmmmm…..purr, purr.)

Thank you so much. I read every word of your post. You hit the nail on the head. Thanks again.

RESPONSE #7:  (No, there was no attachment with this email.  Just clever humor.)

Hello, I read your entire posting and I swear, men are commitment phobic’s. If you are not having much luck then I would like to put something out there to think about. My fiance and I are very sexy and are looking for a woman to spoil from time to time. I assure you that we are both safe and drama free. If you have any interest in this idea, please contact me back and I will send you more information and pictures of me and us.  Just in case, attached is sexy pic of me that he took last year while vacationing in CR.  Ciao,

RESPONSE #8:  (A not-so-veiled attempt to hit on me.  Either that or really subtle humor.  Either way, make me laugh out loud!)

Hello!
How are you?
How was your weekend?
Great post, and this is not a spam mail! anyway, from your post, I think we share similar interests and desires we should explore together. No games or drama here.
I  am tall, athletic build with tan complexion dark hair, italian transplant, well travelled and educated with professional career.
Since we can’t determine ’spark’ or chemistry from this, perhaps you’d like to join me for happy hour or wine n dine?
Love to hear from ya, have a great day!
p.s I do have pix, but I can send them after work, if you dont mind?

RESPONSE #8:  (I thought this was an ego stroke until I realized that the sneaky bastage embedded a transparent image in the area below: “<sound advice>”.  This, of course, doesn’t show as an attachment.  Crud, I hope I don’t have some wormy thing in my ‘puter now.)

Dear Happy Hunting.

I have to say that your posting was very well put.  You put that into perspective quite well.  Whether male or female, for the life of me, I do not understand posting and not doing the spell check.  I mean, come on, one would have to ask why they went through the trouble to put that feature on to our computers.  Is it there just to help take up space?  As for what to write in a post, you are very creative and you have posted such <sound advice> for both species to follow.  I hope people in the future get a little more creative now that they have had a lesson.I rather enjoy reading the posts out there but I do have to agree with you.  Sometimes I swear I am reading a post from a child or some guy trying to act like he has the mental capacity to think and write like a female as if they all write that way.

Enjoy your day.

And thanks for making me smile,

Just for fun….

RESPONSE #9:  (This one just made me giggle.)

sounds like you discovered  Neanderthal man did not die out

RESPONSE #10:  (Hmm.  Guess again.  Yeah, people “flamed” me.  Meh.)

Bravo! Well put! As a once-a-month W2M surfer -and someone who is very recently single- I’ll take your suggested guidelines to heart.

I don’t think that you said anything that could be construed as offensive, so I don’t think that you’ll be flamed. But as this is CL, so you never really know what to expect.

Good luck!

RESPONSE #11:  (Thanks for the nice kudo, but why is it a great job?  So what?  I called stupid people out.  What’s so great about having more common sense than the stupid people?  Not so much of an accomplishment, if you ask me.)

great work , it is all so true, great job

RESPONSE #12:  (Buddy, there are women out there that make me ashamed to be female.)

A very persuasive list and very reasonably articulated. I would just like to apologize for my brothers-in-arms who should be more savy, but aren’t.

In my post-divorce wanderings, I have seen quite a few males that make me ashamed to be male myself. It’s amazing that the species actually is perpetuated, given all of the clueless guys out there (on the other hand, maybe they’re hooking up with the clueless women).

Just so you know, don’t despair. There are enlightened, evolved males out there.

Shalom,

RESPONSE #13:  (Uh, isn’t this actually a way for me to learn something first?  After all, I did ask people to correct me if I was wrong.)

if you really want to give advice, why not learn something first?
Post as a male for female, and then try to “recognize” the bots and spam without getting some virus when you open the email.
Then you will understand why some reasoanble request in a reply IS reasonable.

RESPONSE #14:   (You’re welcome.)

Excellent post, thank you.

RESPONSE #15:   (Funny guy.  Plus, more education for me on what guys go through on CL with personal ads.)

So I am impressed with the fact that you put into words what I thought all along. And now for the editorial part…

As a man who has posted, yes it was in the casual section… I am ready for the spam sight seeing tours and yes actual lieing cheating nasty people who do nothing more than re[ly to get a guys hope up only to trash them…. DUH it is Craig’s list! We post asking for a subject line to avoid all that and yes it helps to prove that you actually read the ad… I ask for simple things in the subject line. it works and I have proof. I posted last week three days in a row and even stated this was a test… out of 25 responses I got 9 repeat spammers under different account names… 11 straight sight sign up requests, 3 porn ads and one real person who ended up just trying to figure out if they wanted to cheat on their partner… I turned them down cause cheating ain’t right. So only one person typed in the subject line request. and so I rest my case on that… I do understand that you might not want to be told to do something but out of all fairness it helps us guys reduce the junk mail.

Pictures, oh you got that right, 3 year old pics and they have gained, lost, or just don’t even look the same. I know I have done all of that due to stress, winter eating, and then the nice weather… bikini season and all. No I don’t wear the bikini, but I look at those  who should and look away from those who should not.  I like the way I am built and dont try to reshape or reform it, just keep it under control…

Now we men will jump at the chance to “hook up” with anything that even seems remotely interested in us, however after being teased it looses it’s charm. I only respond to ads that are well written, mention something that is really in the area, or sound like a normal human would.  There are so many come do me ads that are fakes and I dont even waste my time after having a computer crashed because of the viruses…. I know better than that I was just learning in the early part of my sessions on CL.

So let me wrap this up… I just wanted to let you know that I read the whole posting, found it to be well stated, and hope you did not get too many emails from the haters club… Oh and if you did I just bought a box of tissues and would be more than happy to give you a few….

PIC FOR PIC   LOL

RESPONSE #16:  (Gawd, I’m a sucker for a Brit.)

ms 42 in OC;

You’ve written an outstanding posting in CL. Thank you for the excellent guidelines. It’s my hope any decent man would already consider the points. It’s my hope other men will understand these simple principles. It’s all about respect. There are far too many with none. How uncouth, but it’s still a “ME” society. More’s the pity.

Perhaps you’ve done a small favor for a few bonehead guys here in —town, and they’ll consider your suggestions as they write their pleas.

There are still many decent blokes, the “old fashioned” gentleman if you will. But it’s getting harder to pass on the torch…simply because it is old fashioned. Bollicks to that!

Thanks again!

Be well.

RESPONSE #17:  (I checked:  this guy had not previously emailed me.  So, I take this as a funny/clever response.  I like subtle humor.)

hey you did i scare u off?

RESPONSE #18:  (Oooo.  I couldn’t be more turned on by this.  Let me just dump my boyfriend and move right in.  I feel like being barefoot and pregnant right about now…)

i dont know what pushed your buttons or piss you off but theirs nice guys out their like me so no billshit from both of use you want to talk or not i like straight up people that dont bullshit people ok like you  ok well talk  (This guy sent a separate email inviting me to join him on Yahoo chat. )

RESPONSE #19:   (As a matter of fact, we do get a lot of genital pictures.)

Wow, that was impressive. I think I’ll nominate it for a best of craigs list. No, I’m not your guy likely, just an older 59 year old guy with a sense of wonder and a sense of humor! I suspect that women get more pictures of guys with  genitals hanging out than most of us care to think about. I’ve read descriptions from other disgusted women. So, thanks again for your amusing list of women might want to see in a guys ad or response. jjc
“Imagine…”

RESPONSE #20:  (He’s right.  I’m wrong.  Oh well.  Poor me.)

No body reads all that shit.

RESPONSE #21:  (I’m speechless.  Really.)

Hi. I am very good with  my hands- fix anythink.  My favor- windsurf , snow ski, hiking, kyaking,fishing- salmon- steelhead, swimming, hot spring-skinny dip and travel. Also I have different hobbies- art work,garden and fruit trees. I don’t smoke,drink or use any drugs.I live in G—–. I am comfortable with who I am  and where I am in my life. I would love to find someone who enjoys the same things that I do and is comfortable with themselves and spend some quality time with and enjoy what life has to offer.What are you most looking Forward to? Whenever you have a choice to make, choose in favor of your passions as what you put your energy and focus on becomes stronger in  your life. Consider myself a fun, outgoing and positive person who has it together when it comes to life. I am a honest, caring & passionate person who enjoys humor & conversations. I like the O—- outdoor and hope to explore as our sunny days continue. I enjoy being around intelligent and secure people. I love to socialize and laugh.

My gold is: be healthy-happy and have good honey.  I am an easy going down to earthperson, straight forward and very honest.  Have a great day

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One Response to “Never get bored and post on CL–look what happens!”

  1. Wow Penny – I LOVE IT!!!! This is hilarious. Man, I miss your sense of humor!

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